800-448-3000Trying Not To Cut
Question
I've tried so hard not to cut but when I'm upset all I can turn to is cutting and I'm trying to stop I don't like the pain and it hurts me so much. I'm scared of everything right now. I'm starting to cut off family and friends and my grades are dropping so much and my dad thinks it me just not trying but I don't think its that I believe it something else. But I just say its that so me and my dad wont argue. I cut again last night. And everyone says its temporary and that I have a good life and I'm a smart kid but I don't feel like that. I feel dumb and I don't think this is temporary. Everyday I have a vision that I'm going to die in high school. I'm scared and I don't know what to do.
Counselor response
We understand the struggles that you are facing. We know cutting can be an addictive behavior and very difficult to control. You have taken a very courageous step in admitting that there is a problem and that you need help. We are so proud of you.
From the email you sent it sounds like you might be to the point of looking for support. We know that you are trying really hard to identify an adult who you can share these things with, someone that would be able to help you. We also know that this is a really tough conversation to start. Because your grades are dropping, perhaps talking with a teacher for extra help or your school counselor to take a look at your schedule and academic load might be a way to ease into the deeper conversation about your cutting.
It sounds like you are also looking for ways to avoid the isolation that you have been experiencing. When you don't feel like being in a conversation but still want to be around others, offer to help with something around the house or at school; staying busy will help you to not feel overwhelmed by your feelings but will give you a chance to be involved and not isolated.
When you have the urge to cut, pause, remove yourself from the location you are in whether it is the bathroom or in your own room. Try a new coping skill to take your mind off of these feelings. We have a great list to get you started along with some other tips and tools to help you through this situation: Self Injury. Anytime you feel that you are not able to control your urges, feel free to call us at 1-800-448-3000.
Hopefully these suggestions are helpful. We will be part of your support network and will be here for you any time.
Sincerely,
Pat, Counselor