We Are Moving

I got informed that my family is moving half way across the country a couple of months ago to a state in the Southwest, and it's really hitting me hard. I've lived on the West Coast for all of my life. I have a close lifelong friend of mine that I've known since first grade that I'll never able to see again. My house is a mess of boxes and paint cans for getting ready to leave and fixing up the house. Every now and then I just get waves of tears with no warning, just like that. I keep hearing the same things from friends, family, and acquaintances that "everything gonna be ok" and "it's not that hard". The thing that makes me most sad is that my best friend doesn't seem to care or notice. I seek advice. I don't want to send false information, so here's some clearing up: I don't feel voiceless or helpless, just discombobulated and sad. I feel like a tortoise that doesn't want to go anywhere, but has a storm incoming that it HAS to move for. Most of the "waves" come in or are triggered when I look at the half painted spots in the walls and boxes cluttering the garage. I don't see anything wrong with my situation that I should be sad about, yet I still am and I need help. Thank you guys so much.

Teen, 14 Years Old

We appreciate you writing in to decompress how you have been feeling. Relocating can be overwhelming - no matter at what age. Our sentiments go out to you as we understand leaving behind your state, your house, school and friends can be tough. We are not here to tell you "It will be fine," or "You will find new friends." Instead, we want you to know that what you are feeling is normal. Loss is defined many ways, and while you have not left yet, you might be experiencing the grief of the move already.

But, it is okay to be sad.

We could not be 100% certain but we could guess your best friend is sad, too. Denial is one of the five stages of grief, and it is not to say your friend has not acknowledged that you are leaving, but perhaps they do not want to yet accept it. They are experiencing the loss of an awesome friend, too, and everyone deals with loss differently. We advise you to enjoy the time you have left on the West Coast - make great memories with your friends, host a going away party, share addresses and make pacts to keep in touch. Take photos and create an album you can keep to look back on when you especially miss them. Once you relocate, take advantage of technology to keep in touch using FaceTime or Skype with your parent's permission OR make it fun and send each other snail mail!

Adjustment to the Southwestern part of the country will take some time. You might compare it to the West Coast often and hate the notorious heat, but do not assume there is anything wrong with you if you do not like it right off the bat. Make the most of the move by exploring new places, trying new food, learning new things, and meeting new friends who have things in common with you! While uprooting and moving to another environment can be scary and intimidating, try to see it as a new experience.

We hope this insight has brought you some comfort, but please feel free to call into the hotline if you need extra support. You can also reach us by text and chat. Lastly, check out our website to view tips on other topics like coping skills and school.

All the best,

BME, Counselor

BME

We Are Moving

Question

Counselor response