Should I Try To Get Him Back?

Thanks for reaching out through Your Life Your Voice tonight. This takes a great deal of strength and we are glad you are reaching out for support. Break ups can be extremely painful to go through and truly heartbreaking. Unfortunately, there are times that getting back with a person is not the best solution. It can be much more complicated. We cannot control the actions of other people; we can only control our actions and how we choose to handle any given situation.

The more you focus on how you can get this person back, the more hurt this will cause you, and accepting this is out of your control can be very freeing. Remember, you can only control your actions and how you choose to move forward. Take good care of yourself, focus on YOU. Focus on what is best for YOU. Surround yourself with those who build you up, friends, and family. It's also helpful to distract yourself and your thoughts from this person. Utilize healthy coping skills and the supports around you to help you get through this painful time. Have you talked with someone close to you about this?

Things to Remember During a Breakup

1. Breaking up with someone doesn't make you a bad person
2. Being broken up with doesn't make you a bad person
3. Focus on rebuilding yourself before you jump into another relationship
4. Just because this relationship is over doesn't mean you will never love or be loved again
5. You can't make a person love you, and shouldn't want to, let love be free
6. Don't be afraid to fully experience the stages of loss, it's all part of learning
7. Think about your break up and figure what you need to do in your next relationship to stay strong
8. Don't regret the relationship, it has changed you and prepared you for the future
9. Create healthy boundaries with your ex so you don't fall back into bad patterns
10. Understand that you have to be strong in yourself before you can be strong in a relationship

No relationship is permanent. Life and people are always changing so we should expect relationships to change too. Although breaking up is difficult, it can sometimes be one of the best decisions we make and one of the most self-empowering experiences we can go through. Don't despair. This is part of life and if you're constantly learning you will grow into the healthy relationship you deserve.

While you are processing the feelings that you have surrounding your break up try some of these tips:

Shoe Box Therapy: bit.ly/ylyvShoeBox

Taking Care Of Yourself: bit.ly/ylyv9SelfCare  

What Can You Control?: bit.ly/ylyvControl   

Keep looking forward and focus on taking good care of yourself. If you need support, we are here fo you.

Nicole, Counselor