800-448-3000Should I Break Up With Him?
Question
Hi. So I need some advice. I've been dating someone for a little over two months now. He's great and all but I feel that I should break up with him. He has depression and suicidal tendencies so I'm a bit nervous in doing so. The biggest reason I feel like breaking up is myself. Because of his depression, I've been slowly getting affected negatively. I have been getting affected mentally in a negative way such that it's been getting harder for me to be happy with him. I was there for him when he attempted suicide twice. I cried a lot and it's come to the point where I go numb sometimes. That's why I feel like breaking up. I want to get better myself. I'm actually happier with my friends that with him and I realized that I'm way too young to be in a relationship. And a mentally draining one too. I might give it two weeks before I make my decision. My question is whether I should break up with him or not. And if I do, how should I do it in the gentlest way possible? Thank you in advance.
Counselor response
We are glad you have discovered our website and are reaching out today You are demonstrating good insight and maturity to recognize this relationship is no longer a positive thing for you. It is very likely not a positive situation for him either as he may be depending on you rather than focusing on what he can do for himself. Often, that can be the weight we feel in these situations: the other party places so much emphasis on us to make them happy, or participate with their unhappiness. We want to encourage you to be strong for yourself. When you tell him that you want to end the relationship, prepare yourself to remain calm, and keep it simple, without getting into a great deal of reasoning or justification. He is likely to become upset, perhaps even make threats. Remember, you cannot control how he feels, nor are you responsible for how he feels. Encourage him to reach out to us to talk with one of our counselors.
We are here for you and your boyfriend.
Sincerely,
Larry – Counselor