800-448-3000Parents Are Divorcing
Question
I need your advice on like dealing with parents divorcing. I honestly just found out that my parents are gonna go thru with it, and I'm just feeling kind of down and mad and sad about the overall situation. Are these emotions even normal if I'm 18 and still live at home with one of them? I feel like overall them communicating with each other and them communicating with me will be a lot different but please give me advice on how to deal with this.
Counselor response
Your emotions are very normal. This is a big change in your life.
It's very understandable why you are feeling uncertain since things in your world are changing from what it has been since before you were born. Living with just one of them will be different but you can handle it if you set some ground rules and then stick by them.
To be prepared we suggest you visit the Family section of Your Life Your Voice and read some of the articles there such as, "So Your Parents Are Getting Divorced" and "How to Talk to Your Parents About Divorce". Your personal ground rules may include not allowing yourself to get pulled into conversations that are negative about one parent or the other. If pressured to give your opinion, have a plan to follow so you can avoid taking sides. Share information with each parent; in the past you may have shared your whereabouts or activities with one parent with the understanding that they would share or consult with the other, now it's important that you find a way to keep both of your parents in the loop. Maybe you can keep a shared calendar or share information via text so you know that you told both parents about an event or situation.
This is not an easy situation but with planning it will be manageable. Think things through before acting such as planning for the milestones in your life, such as graduation, first job, engagement, marriage etc.
Good luck and we wish you well.
Sincerely,
Pat, Counselor