800-448-3000My Friend Took His Own Life
Question
Hi, I don't know what to do. A really good friend of our family has just passed away. Now I'm upset and I don't know what to do. My parents said that he took his life because he had MS and couldn't take it anymore. I wish I didn't feel so hurt now. If someone could maybe help me find a way to be happy or something to help me feel better, could you please help. Thank you.
Counselor response
Thank you for contacting Your Life Your Voice. It isn't easy to reach out when you are struggling, but we are glad that you did. We are so sorry for the loss of your friend. When a loved one dies it is normal to experience grief. Grief is very painful and you can expect to feel a variety of emotions including anger, sadness, and depression. Your grief is also compounded by the fact that because you lost your friend so suddenly, and you didn't have time to say goodbye.
In order to deal with grief you have to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. Make sure that you get plenty of rest and that you eat regular healthy meals. Exercise also helps. Try to maintain your daily routine as much as possible. Many people find that trying staying in a regular routine will help them get through difficult times.
Emotionally it is important to recognize when you may need extra support.
Do not let yourself become immobilized because of your pain. Identify important support systems that you can turn to if you need help. These support systems can be your family, friends, or a hotline counselor. Also make yourself a personal priority by treating yourself gently, finding what gives you comfort, and postponing any major decisions until you feel more emotionally centered.
Utilize friends for social support. Do not isolate. Force yourself to do something with people on a regular basis. You will find that you might not want to hang out with friends, but you will feel better when you do. Many people find it helpful to use coping strategies helpful when dealing with grief. These coping strategies include journaling, listening to music, exercising, or other types of activities that give you comfort and satisfaction. If you are spiritual reach out to your higher power for support and comfort.
We want you to know that we are here for you. You can call the Boys Town National Hotline. Crisis counselors are available, 24/7, at 1-800-448-3000.
Please take care and let us know how you are doing.
Nancy, counselor