800-448-3000My Friend Is Really Mad At Me
Question
One of my closest friends is really mad at me right now. She says I have been talking about her behind her back and saying really bad things about her. That isn't true though because I have never even thought bad things about her, let alone say anything bad about her. She has blocked me on all of her social media so I can't communicate with her and she completely ignores me in person. She hasn't even heard me out, and she won't give me a chance and hear what I have to say. I wrote her a letter saying my side of everything but she just threw it away. I don't know what to do because she truly was a good friend and I don't want to give up on her and our friendship even though she says she is done with me.
Counselor response
Thank you for reaching out, we are sorry to hear you are going through this. How hurtful this must be to you. It sounds like you have done everything you can to try to make amends to her but she is not ready to hear it. Remember you can’t do anything to try to get your friend to respond the way you would like. You have tried to talk her and explain your side but right now she is not giving you a chance. The only thing you really can do is to focus on yourself and how you can take care of your needs in order to move forward. We are including some healthy coping skills for you to try:
Reach out to your other friends and loved ones for support. Let them know that you are hurting because of a misunderstanding so they can support you. Refrain from talking negatively about your friend even through it will be tempting to want to air your feelings. If you feel that you need to do this, call our hotline. Our counselors will help you with this. It is not appropriate to vent your frustrations or talk negatively about your friend to others who may come in contact with her.
You can only control you. You can't control your friend. Show kindness to your friend when you see her. Know that you made your best effort to continue your friendship and make things right. Hopefully in time she will see that this is a big misunderstanding.
Let us know if you would like to talk.
LO, Counselor