800-448-3000My Friend Has Feelings For Me
Question
Last night a close friend texted me that he might have feelings for me. I hesitated to tell him how I felt. For some reason, I told him that I liked him, even though I don't. He started talking about dating and stuff. I think I made a big mistake telling him that I liked him. I honestly just want to be friends with him because I feel like our friendship will be ruined if we date. Also, I'm not comfortable dating with ANYONE, I have school and family to worry about. And also we are just 13. I don't know what to tell him.
Counselor response
Thank you for contacting Your Life Your Voice. It isn't easy to reach out, but we are glad that you did. It has to be very flattering that this boy has feelings for you. It also sounds like he caught you off-guard when he told you that he might have feelings for you. It also has to be awkward that you are close friends, but now he has more than a friend interest in you.
You did a great job in this email outlining the reasons why you don't want to be in a relationship. Just let him know that you value your friendship too much to get into a dating relationship. You do not want to jeopardize that friendship by dating. You can also tell him that you are not ready to date, and are very involved with both school and family. Those are all great reasons why you are not ready to date by now.
It is also best to tell him as soon as possible so that he isn't under the impression that you want to go forward with a romantic relationship.
We want you to know that we are here for you. You can email l back and we will respond in 24-48 hours. If you would like an immediate response you can call the Boys the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. Crisis counselors are available 24/7. You can also reach out to us via text or chat on www.yourlifeyourvoice.org.
Take care and let us know how you are doing. You are not alone.
Nancy, counselor