800-448-3000My Anger Meter Goes Through The Roof
Question
Hello, I think I might have anger problems. My anger meter goes through the roof over something little or over things that I shouldn't get so upset about. I don't know why I get so angry and it's very frustrating. I tried explaining to my mom about it, but she doesn't understand what I'm going through and just sees me getting upset over nothing like a brat. I tell her I hate feeling this way and don't enjoy it at all. It often gets to the point where I get so angry I want to physically hurt someone (even though I would never do that). I can't tell anyone about this because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. So I mostly get the urge to take it out on myself. And I don't tell anyone about me hurting myself either, so when I get angry I feel so trapped not knowing how to calm myself. The intense anger wears off eventually but I don't think it's normal to get so angry I have these thoughts and feelings. Thanks for listening.
Counselor response
We are glad you have discovered our website and are reaching out tonight. We can appreciate the frustration and concern you expressed about your issues with anger, and how it has progressed into self-harm. Reaching out is the brave and wise thing to do. Try to step back and look at what is happening, what the anger is about, what has triggered it. Notice, we did not say "why" it is happening. The word "why" tends to have a negative connotation in our culture, which can lead us to guilt, shame, and beating ourselves up emotionally. We want to look for clarity, which will help us address the issue, which will help us to feel better. Anger is a normal human emotion, yet can cause problems for us if it not expressed effectively. You have wonderful insight and are wise to be reaching out.
Often anger is the surface emotion and there are other emotions hiding underneath. We have a tip for you to check out that explains this further: Layers of Anger
We suggest going to our "Tips and Tools" section of the website. You will notice there is a whole section on "anger" and a section on "self-injury". We are not discounting the depth of your feelings, yet anger management and self-injury are not an uncommon problems. When you look through the topics you will see a number of tips and tools that you can use to work through your feelings and find a way through your anger so you can control it and not have it control you.
You are not alone. We want you to know we are here for you. Expressing your feelings and talking can help offer some relief by sharing the burden. You may also discover options to your situations that you would not likely discover on your own. Our counselors are here if you are ready to talk.
Stay brave, keep reaching out.
Sincerely,
Larry – Counselor