800-448-3000I Think About Killing Myself
Question
I am a depressed, lonely, schizophrenic who thinks about killing themselves at least twice daily. I know it sounds 'edgy' but this is sadly the truth. I want to change and from what I have heard this is the first step. Sadly I can't change schizophrenia. That stuff is chronic. I feel as though I am constantly loosing track of myself. I feel like I am never really 'there' and forget half the stuff people tell me. I have tried going to the National Suicide Hotline place but they keep putting me on hold. Sorry for making the post so long. I am not sure how this works.
Counselor response
We are glad you reached out about what you are going through. You are being honest about what you are experiencing not “edgy”. It does sound like you are really hurting and having thoughts of suicide only proves how difficult it is for you. Suicidal thoughts indicate you are not able to handle your pain on your own and need support. That is why it is hopeful that you are reaching out to us. We also want to encourage you to make sure your family or others are aware of your chronic thoughts of suicide.
Having schizophrenia can bring unique challenges and we hope you are going to a Doctor and getting the best treatment. In addition, get support with therapy, support groups. They will keep you engaged in your healing process, allowing you to feel the best you can. Having good coping skills like music, artwork, writing your feelings down, spiritual life with prayer, being around others you enjoy, reading or any other activity that you can do often to distract yourself from any negative feelings is going to help you manage your stress. Filling up with as many positive thoughts and activities is the best way to uplift your mood and have hope for yourself. You are important and deserve to feel better.
Here are a few articles that may help:
We are here for you and if you need to speak with someone about your struggles or suicidal thoughts you can call our hotline, or text to speak with a caring counselor. Please be safe and reach out right away if your suicidal thoughts are overwhelming you.
Take care and continue to start everyday with hope it will be better than yesterday.
Anne, Counselor