800-448-3000I Broke Down And Cut
Question
I've been self harming since 6th grade, and just recently quit for about 1 or 2 months. I was feeling happy, and I felt beautiful; something I hadn't been feeling for years. But just today, something snapped. I got detention, my friends made fun of me because I'm not skinny, and I was called ugly for multiple times. I broke down and cut my hair, then my legs. This was the first time in months I seriously considered killing myself. I hate being insecure, especially when my dad was recently diagnosed with multiple health issues; causing our family to argue once again. I just feel so sad and alone again...
Counselor response
We are so glad that you are reaching out for support. You made a brave and wise choice; it’s a good decision to talk to someone when you are going through a difficult time. It really sounds like you have been going through a hard time lately with everything going on around you.
In life we all have our own struggles, and sometimes during those struggles we will experience setbacks. That's okay. It's how you handle the setback and overcome them again is what makes the biggest difference. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You don’t deserve that. You deserve to love yourself and be understanding to yourself when you make mistakes.
It is good that you recognize that self-harm is not a behavior you want to continue. For the past couple of months you have felt the radiating affects of positive coping skills. You have found ways to handle the stress in your life and deal with situations that are bothering you. Way to go!
We know that today was especially difficult. When you have those overwhelming feelings to harm and notice you are slipping back into your old ways, remember the healthy coping skills that have helped you through the last 2 months. You have gone periods where you worked on focusing on the positive, remember how you felt during that time. Take time to pause, remind yourself that you can keep yourself safe, and focus on things that will help you to do this. You can feel happy; you can feel good about yourself once again.
Sometimes it helps to write down how you will keep yourself safe and cope with the stress around you. When it is written down, it will remind you that there are things you can do instead of harming yourself. Try to fill out this worksheet then keep it handy in case you need it. Your Safety
It sounds like those people calling you names aren’t really friends if they can say such hurtful things to you. Healthy and loving friendships offer support and kindness. It may be a wise choice to distance yourself from those people and work to surround yourself, with people who help keep you up instead of trying to bring you down. Especially with what you explained has been going on in your family; you do not need to have extra negativity and struggles in your life.
We can’t control how others treat us, but we can control how we react. Using healthy coping skills and deciding who we want in our life, are things we can control. Don’t let them “win” by believing what they say and allowing it to take you to this place where you find yourself now. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to love yourself.
Keep practicing those healthy coping skills. Let us know if you would like to talk.
Take care and be strong!
Brittany, Counselor