800-448-3000How Do I Make Friends At College?
Question
I’ve used this multiple times, and it does work well I just haven’t in awhile. I am not in rush to receive help I just wanted to get this out to someone. I don’t feel comfortable calling so just please I don’t want to be pressured into that. This is how I like to communicate, and I’m good with the wait. I just wanted to talk about how lonely I am at college right now. I don’t even know if you guys talk to college kids because I used this mainly in high school, but I thought the least that could happen is you guys tell me you can’t help me because I am not a teenager. I have been in school almost a month, and was so excited to start over and a new life, but I am more lonely now then I was back home. I was self harming before I got here, and I told myself because this is a fresh start I won’t go down that road. But I am so lonely I can’t find any friends who want to hang out with me, and I haven’t said anything of my past to make them feel this way. It’s like no one loves me, or nobody would know if I went home. Even if I went home I would be back at McDonalds and be lonely again. I’m not sure want to do. I tried to get involved but I don’t know where anything is. I go out to dinner on campus, and just sit by myself because even when I do sit next to someone they don’t talk to me. I’m invisible and no one would care if I am gone. My question is how do I make myself known and find people who care about me. I’m just so sad and lonely.
Counselor response
Yes! We do talk to young adults that are in college. Thanks for emailing us! After reading your email, you are always welcome to email back, we are here as always, just like we were there for you in high school.
One of the hardest thing about college is transitioning from home life to college life, it's a struggle for many Freshmen and you're not alone. Try to find low pressure ways to reach out to others - talk to students in your class about the class, join a study group and check your college website for activities on campus.
Try starting a conversation with someone as opposed to waiting for them to talk to you. They probably feel the same way as you do, not knowing how to break the ice. Ask questions, find out where they are from, what there major is and if they know of a good hang out for Freshmen. Every University has places you can participate in activities and the fun part is that you don't know them and they don't know you, so you get to meet new people.
We all have times when we lack confidence and don't feel good about ourselves. College can be an exciting time, but also a stressful one. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and you have been feeling depressed and lonely. We are glad you are reaching out today; it is the brave and wise thing to do when you are looking for support. And we all need some help sometimes. Here are some stress-management tips to help relieve the pressure.
- Get enough sleep-7 to 9 hours a day.
- Eat Well-healthy foods, avoid junk food.
- Exercise-20 minutes a day, will reduce stress.
- Avoid unnatural energy boosters-they can dehydrate you.
- Vent your frustrations, journal or talk to a crisis counselor (like you are now).
- Don't give up your passion-keep focus on your priorities and take it day by day, set up short term goals for each day.
- Try not to overload yourself-learn to say "no" assertively and take good care of yourself.
- Breathe-deep breathing exercises can help melt away the tension. Inhale slowly through the nose, hold the breath for a few seconds, then exhale through your mouth and repeat as needed.
- Keep working on your coping skills so your stress does not overwhelm you: bit.ly/ylyv99CopingSkills
- Reach out to your college counselors/advisors as they are there to give you support.
We look forward to hearing back from you again.
Take care and stay Strong,
Nicole, Counselor