800-448-3000Grandmother Says Negative Things
Question
My grandmother always says negative things towards me and it makes me insecure and feel bad about myself. I don't want to get back depressed but I am slowly falling into it. I try to stay strong for my 3 siblings but it's too hard for me emotionally.
Counselor response
We are glad you are reaching out today. It can be really difficult to have an adult, someone close to us, be so negative. Sometimes adults, just like teens, say things without thinking about their impact. In these cases, education is key. Tell your grandma how you feel about what she is saying. Find a neutral time to talk to her, a time when she is not busy and has time to talk. Use phrases like "Grandma when you said... I felt...." If it would help, you could write this in a letter instead of saying it out loud, this would allow you to get out the things you want to say without becoming overwhelmed by your emotion. We have an example of what this might look like:
If you feel the phrases have been said to intentionally harm you, it might be time to involve another adult. What resources are available to you? We are here for you but you could you also reach out to someone in your daily life for some support? This could be a teacher, coach, school counselor, sibling, friend, or other relative.
When someone is saying things to us and making us feel bad about ourselves it is good to take a look at how our self-esteem is being impacted. It may be a good time to work on improving your self-esteem so that no one else can bring you down. We have a link to our site where you can view some tips and tools relating to self esteem:
It is great you want to be strong for your siblings. It sounds like they need you. Keep being strong for them. Work through these negative emotions and fight back against these feelings of negative self-worth. Let us know how we can further support you.
TC Crisis Counselor